The Way We Lie
Quote
“The White Lie A man who won’t lie to a woman has very little consideration for her feelings.” — Bergen Evans
Analysis
I choose the white lie quote in that it assumes that the truth has more power to cause greater damage than a small lie that is harmless. According to this quote, the white lie is often made in a bid to protect other people’s feelings and for everyone’s benefit. Imagine a woman asking a man if they look beautiful. Although the man would want to say, “your ugly or you look fat and boring,” it is considered beneficial and kind for the man to say, “you are the most beautiful woman earth” knowing very well that it is not the truth.
True to Evans’ assumption, white lies often cause less damage than plain lies. For instance, early last year, I added weight after dropping my gym classes and was feeling a little fat. After asking my partner about my weight, he made meme believe that I was fit and perfect. However, the truth was the opposite and the comment was made in a bid to protect my feelings. While this comforted me, it would be arrogant and rude of him to say that I was fat. Lying about my weight is an example of a white lie that created less harm than telling the truth that would have made me lose my confidence and self-esteem.
It is the consideration of such lies that Evans concluded that a man who tells a woman the truth is inconsiderate of her feelings. A white lie is considered by most people a harmless and simple lie that is often used to protect people from the truth that would hurt more. However, it is an act of arrogance since the liar makes assumptions on what they believe is best for the person that is being lied to. From the incident I had with my partner, it is evident that he assumed that my wish would have been to look fit and slim than to appear well-built. If I wanted to hear the opposite, his answer would be considered an act of arrogance.
Example from the Lies
From Ericson’s discussion, I find the story on lies by omission the most interesting in that such lies often appear as the truth due to the omission of crucial facts. The provision of such facts could have caused the provided information to change completely. In life, it is often considered easy to lie by omitting essential information that would otherwise have made a significant difference. Going by the example she has provided, imagine how the world would appear if the book of Genesis did not omit information about Lilith. The society would be constructed completely differently if it was told that man and woman were made from the same sample of soil. However, this did not transpire because crucial information was omitted, which can be considered a lie. As such, women believed that they were lesser than their male counterparts in every way since they did not have information that would have changed their self-perception.
Similarly, most people often omit information when giving information in a manner that appears harmless to themselves. For instance, after asking my nephew about his boots, he stated that he had given his teacher to carry to the bus during the outdoor practice lesson. However, the truth was that he was involved in a fight with a classmate, removed his boots, and left them in the field after which he changed to his sandals. Although this is not an outright lie, he omitted crucial information that changed the information provided.
References
Ericsson, S. (2004). The Ways We Lie. 50 Essays: A Portable Anthology.