The Role of Love and Desire in Marriage
Marriage is considered one of the most basic and most significant institutions in any society. Being the foundation upon which the community is built, the solidity of a marriage is a determinant of the cohesion of the society. There have consequently been very many arguable principles dictating what a family should be founded on. Is it love, passion, and desire? Or is it power, property, and social ties? Greek mythology believed in the former, and we see how the marriage institutions lasted for a lifetime. The modern world, on the other hand, believes in the latter, and it is clear to us the consequences of this- the marriage instability and divorces.
Greek antiquity believed that marriage and desire had no association at all, and this belief was reinforced by the oracle of Antigone which is written by Sophocles, and the misdeeds of Aphrodite. Antigone, unable to handle the grief over her beloved brother’s death, opts for death. His lover, Haemon, who later finds out about her death is torn apart and also decides to kill himself. It was therefore clear that desire resulted in no good.
Furthermore, Aphrodite’s desire and passion are considered disruptive and unsupportive of the familial committee. She is nicknamed, “Philommedes” which is a foreshadow of the passion she instigates. It however turns out to be unfruitful in many instances, for example, when Aphrodite causes the separation of Helen and Menelaus and later leading to the Trojan War. The desire she imposes on Paris leads him to kidnap Helen. Helen also shows no defiance and is depicted wrapped in Paris’ hands. This is a depiction of the inability of women to fight for themselves, and the submissiveness they were required to portray to their male counterparts during these eras. Aphrodite is also unfulfilled in her marriage with Pethos because she does not get the union she long in marriage.
Some of the different perspectives on this issue would be that the Greeks viewed passion as destruction to productivity. Love leads people to do the imaginable, and it also causes the deepest wounds. Haemon took something as precious as his life because of love. This was probably why the Greeks were against love in marriages.
Some of the consequences of this myth are the lack of freedom and happiness. Making women unable to speak for themselves and subordinate to the males was a form of oppression and an unethical belief. Historically, these were some of the believes that lead to women’s domesticity during the antebellum period, and some patches it in the modern world, which are all shreds of evidence of the oppression that women were forced to leave in. We can connect this belief to the view on gay marriages today. Just like the main debate on ancient marriages being between love and ethics, the debate between gay relationships is still love and ethics. How right it is and how wrong it all depends on the cultural perspectives of the individuals.
Conclusion
The Greeks had a very reasonable argument to the role they let love play in the formation of alliances; logic. Although the myth on marriage has finally been settled with letting love prevail, it provides a good basis for judging between sentiments and logic. While sentiments are the basis of being, logic is a great determinant of the resilience and the longevity of life.