Coaching Session
My co-worker, Sarah Raheem, runs her own business on the side when she is not coaching. She has been experiencing challenges with creating time for exercise because of her busy schedule. As much as she wants to set aside thirty minutes to work out, she realizes that it takes more time to do the activities associated with exercising like packing the right clothes coordinating her activities, exerting energy, and showering afterward. The entire encounter is a major hassle for her. Therefore, she often neglects it. However, from my diagnosis, Sarah’s actual problem is poor planning and time management.
The session was a success. We maintained the same communication wavelength, which enabled us to understand each other (Sarno, 2018). I asked her questions to aid in clarity, and she answered without hesitance, providing a feedback reinforcement. The feedback she gave helped me make the proper adjustment in the coaching process, ensuring that I identify and help her achieve her goals. She explained her daily routine and listed out her daily priority activities. Sarah was sincere, calm, and composed during the session. She was also excited about the possibility of her being able to adjust her schedule. However, at some point, she seemed to be frightened by the prospect of change. It was pretty much expected because we, as humans, are creatures of habit.
Empathy is the active attempt to understand another person’s perspective, their emotions, and their reality. Communicating and understanding the client’s emotional state is key to a successful session. I had to be observant of her body posture, facial expression, gestures, and tone variation. Observing her triggered responses from my mirror neurons that mirrored her sensations. Therefore, whenever she laughed, I laughed too. I actively listened to Sarah by taking the time to consider what she was saying and asking her to follow up with questions. Through active listening and observing her, I showed concern and empathy.
The five stages of change have been proved to help people overcome bad habits. In the pre-contemplation stage, she was not aware that her actual problem was planning and time management. Sarah realizes her problem but has mixed feelings in the contemplation phase. We discuss the importance of exercising to her physical, mental, and psychological health. She later accepts her problem in the preparedness stage and strategizes on how to solve it. She plans her day out, allocating each activity adequate time, and incorporates exercise in her daily routine. In the action stage, she implements the plans she made in the third stage. In the final stage, Maintenance, Sarah focuses on strengthening the new habits to prevent her from falling back into her old habits.
SMART goals are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound (Kennedy, 2018). Sara’s goals were specific in that she wanted to better plan and manage her time. By planning her day in the morning, creating adequate time for the activities, and following it through, she gets to measure her progress at the end of the day. The goals were achievable with practice and relevant as they aligned with her caring values for her well-being. For the new habit to sink in, she gave herself three months.
From the coaching session, I have learned that it takes more than communication skills to coach someone. Factors like empathy, patience, and being flexible are crucial too. Empathy enables a coach to actively understand their client’s perspective, emotions, and reality, thus helping them connect, while patience is crucial in listening and understanding the client. A coach has to be flexible enough to adjust to the conversation flow and meet the client at their wavelength.
My biggest challenge is motivating myself. I have always admired people that push themselves to do better and be better. There are so many things that I would like to do, but I luck the drive. I have tried triggering my intrinsic motivation by seeking a sense of achievement and extrinsic motivation by giving myself an external reward, but none seems to be working. I want to be better at pushing and psyching myself.
References
Kennedy, L. (2018). SMART Goals: Definition and Examples. Retrieved October 08, 2020, from https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/smart-goals
Sarno, O. (2018, October 29). Effective Communication for Effective Coaching. Retrieved October 08, 2020, from https://leadershipmanagement.com.au/effective-communication-effective-coaching/