Email #1: Being Opinionated
From: You <yournewself@gmail.com>
To: You <youroldself@gmail.com>
Subject: (Un)apology email – Being Opinionated.
Dear You,
I hope you’re at the peak of your health.
Basically, this email is regarding the 280 characters you typed yesterday but unfortunately couldn’t pluck up your courage to hit the ‘Tweet’ button.
What stopped you? Was it the 44 roast comments on your well-meaning thoughts about those riots that you posted the other day? Or the storm that your well-intended inputs created during another political debate in the office?
Generally, people have different intrinsic natures and perspectives – if their opinion matches yours, you’re a darling to them but if it doesn’t, they expediently believe that you are ‘self-assertive’ or ‘opinionated’. Such hypocrites, you know.
It is important to observe that the world we live in suffers from a severe dearth of appreciation. There’s no stone left unturned to humiliate people or to judge them the moment they proclaim or take a stand on their opinions. That being said, personally, in no way do I promote unmindful and blatant blabber. Factually, versatile and resourceful people who genuinely desire to be impactful by sharing their thoughts eventually resist doing so because of the fear of being rejected, trolled, or ‘roasted’. They practically keep their words in order to avoid fear, especially the fear of judgment or rejection. This happens in the virtual world and in reality too.
However, you don’t need to be sorry or feel ashamed for what happened the other day and you do not have to be preoccupied with the one thing that didn’t go right. You were not going to post an apology note to those insensitive souls, were you?
Acknowledge that there is nothing wrong with taking a stand. Absolutely nothing. You have the right in the world to choose a side and speak up for it. As long as incitement is not your foremost intention, you’re headed in the right direction. In that regard, preparedness, validity, and reasonable-stand are sufficient conditions to be sure you are doing the right thing.
People call you ‘aloof’ because you are not ready to blindly follow their beliefs. They refer to you as ‘stand-offish’ just because you’re not someone who gives in to debates for the sake of ‘friendships’ or so-called ‘cordiality’. As a matter-of-fact, today’s world doesn’t embrace cordiality, no matter how much we wish it would. Funnily enough, if you don’t take a stance, you may still be tagged with words like ‘indecisive’. So, you might as well choose sides, right? Here’s a catch – while it’s perfectly right to put forward what you think or feel, there are things you need to always remember before doing so.
Below are a few of these reminders for your easy reference:
- Be reasonable and relevant.
Whatever you say, make sure you have facts to back up your statements. Ensure you are fully prepared before stepping forward to declare your opinion. Your intention should not be to go on a rant. State facts and reasons for your belief. Also, do not go off-topic.
- Be receptive to other’s opinions (open-mindedness).
Everyone has a unique thought so always give a welcoming and attentive mind to other’s viewpoints. You need to be appreciative if you genuinely feel so.
- Be open to correction if you’re on the faulty side.
It’s quite possible that after listening to the other side, you feel that you are not correct, maybe because you found better reasons on the other side. In that case, be flexible enough to accept the fact that you are wrong.
- Don’t talk down nor be condescending.
Always be gentle and humble while expressing yourself. Do not target any particular person nor look down upon them. That’s uncalled for and not expected of you.
~ “All citizens shall have the right to freedom of speech and expression” – The Constitution of India.
If you don’t believe me, believe The Constitution.
It is vital to understand that each one of us is strongly opinionated. The only difference is that there are very few who feel like sharing their opinions. Incidentally, some people hold unpopular opinions and they inevitably face social backlash, but that shouldn’t stop them, they should keep going; unperturbed.
However, I do not suggest that you should be judgmental. There is a thin line between being ‘judgmental’ and being ‘opinionated’. When you’re targeting someone’s rights and wrongs based on their personal beliefs and choices, then you’re being judgmental. And that is totally out of the content and unequivocally wrong. Rather, I ask you to ‘express’ yourself and state your stance on various ideas, beliefs, and facts.
In a nutshell, do not hold yourself back; you don’t need to feel apologetic for taking a stand or expressing your feelings. After all, your views are neither based on a fake or unrealistic intention nor are they based on the desire to be seen or stand out. Rather, they are based on your feelings. So, ‘playing it safe’ should always be out of the question for you. It’s time you stop walking on eggshells. Surround yourself with people who enjoy such discussions and not those who easily take offense, possibly due to their insecurities. Also, be sensitive enough to know when and where your opinions are not needed and pull yourself back.
Speak up for yourself. Take stand for what you believe is right because if you don’t, who will?
Do not pay any attention to comments from sadists; those who find happiness in inflicting pain on others. Do not apologize for expressing yourself genuinely, even if people don’t embrace your opinions.
Insensitive people are everywhere, but that does not mean you have to budge. Mockery isn’t a sufficient condition to give in, nor to waver, even in the slightest!
Get back to typing those 280 characters one more time, and this time, be sure to ‘tweet’, as opposed to hitting the ‘backspace’ button.
So, stop feeling guilt or fear; although you may be different, you’re not wrong!!
I look forward to seeing the ‘unapologetic’ you.
Thanks,
Your(new)self.