Carmelite Missionary Secular has Changed my Life
I have been a Catholic for the whole of my reasoning life. I can remember how my mother used to encourage me to attend catechism classes and how I loathed them. Rarely will I attend because I knew that I couldn’t be punished for not attending these classes unlike in school when I received a severe beating for missing a single afternoon class.
My parents loved us. My father’s love was aloof but, as I have come to realize, deeper than my mother’s – although you can’t measure how much a parent loves her children. Our parents were dedicated Christians, and they did everything thing possible, and sometimes impossible things to see us through the school. They, however, couldn’t force us to accept Catholic spirituality but implored us to follow their footsteps.
Unfortunately, I didn’t lead a Christian life in my adolescent and early years of my youth.
By the time I was 25, I was married, had a good job, a home, and a child. Life seemed good. I could do what I wanted. My free days were spent on endless entertainment. God was the last thing I needed in my life. I didn’t think he could have added any value to what I had already.
One day, all this changed. My job was no more. It was hard to get another job, and I was so proud to accept any work with lower pay. I started investing in my savings. Every business I started failed. I started over five businesses, and none picked up. Maybe this was because I was new in entrepreneurship or maybe the hand of God was at work in my life. Soon I was left with nothing; even my marriage was no more, and all my friends disappeared like a vapor.
Thrice I tried committing suicide- thrice I failed, miserably.
After much suffering, I later realized myself, and with the grace of God, I was united with my family. I decided to live for God and his church. However, I didn’t know what God wanted me to do just yet.
In my confusion, a dear friend led me to a Carmelite meeting. I have noted how serene she is despite the obvious struggles in her life. When I asked her how she copes with stress and yet remains radiant, she didn’t answer me. Instead, she told me to come and see.
I fell in love with Carmelite meetings in the first session. Here I saw real people. I saw people who have been hurt and are eager to pick themselves up and follow their hope. The teachings were new yet biblical. I used to counter check everything we were taught with the scriptures since what I learned I had never heard before. For example, Sr. Maria taught us about seeing Jesus in disadvantaged. Before this, I believed that Jesus is in your brothers and sisters in faith. Her teaching was strange to me since she said Jesus is in every suffering person even those in sin; the prostitutes, street children, drunkards, etc. and also the sick, bereaved, maimed old, etc. Since then, I try to values every person in suffering and sure enough, Jesus is suffering in every disadvantaged person.
The members of this group also are very brotherly; at last, I felt needed and valued. There was a strong brotherly bond which made everyone have a strong sense of belonging. We like sharing our life’s experiences. Soon we realized that all of us were hurt in one way or another, but somehow God picked us up. Some testimonies were so touching that we couldn’t stop thanking God for his marvelous deeds.
Today, as I go about my daily activities, am guides by Carmelite spirituality. Knowing that am loved unconditionally gives me the strength to face any day with hope and faith. My prayer life has greatly improved. Gone are days when I thought prayers were just asking for petitions. I strive to know how to pray better day after day.
Like everyone else, am on a journey. I have come from far and am going far but thanks to Carmelite Missionary Secular, am striving to put God first in everything am doing.
Today, am thousands of kilometers away was where our Carmelite Missionary Secular group meet and yet every day what I learned is always in my mind as I try to live my calling according to the teaching of blessed Francisco Palau.