Marriage
Marriage is an institution that is ordained by God, as the bible says. During the creation of human beings in Genesis, God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2.18 KJV). The foundation of marriage is based on these words of Christ in Genesis 2.24, which says, “A man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Therefore, it is a union that requires a lot of understanding and tolerance for it to bear the image of God. Through marriage, a lot of conflicts and misunderstandings do happen, which need our utmost sobriety and respect for one another to deal with. That is why there is having better communication skills, and knowing when and how to respond to your spouse is essential.
In determining my communication skills in times of conflict, I can say that I have experience. No one is a hundred percent perfect in managing marriage issues, and therefore it requires a lot of patience and tolerance for each another to build up a lasting relationship. In marriage, we all want to share in one another’s feelings and understand each other’s ideas as they voice them out (Strong, DeVault, Cohen, 2011). To hold a meaningful conversation, I know that we need to communicate effectively and respectively.
We all have our baggage and therefore need to listen carefully to reach a particular compromise.
In times of conflict, the feelings and emotions are high; however, I can say that I tend to take some time off to think everything calmly before arriving at any conclusion. It is essential to give each other some space to regain the sanity of thoughts and reflect on what juts leads to the conflict. Willard jar (2011) admits that love and relationship are fragile and need special care for them to continue existing. I do not allow anger to get the best of me and start throwing sentiments anyhow because I know my partner will only be aggravated by such and will also throw her words. In such a situation, the temperatures are high, and no one will listen to the other. It is, therefore, only reasonable to fin a way to cool off and discuss it afterward.
If I know that I am wrong, I do not hesitate to apologize and acknowledge my fault. The first step to healing from any ailment is accepting you are suffering and need help. Therefore, I give peace a chance and allow my partner to air their grievance. In a lifetime commitment, there is no room for giving up on your spouse, and therefore if they are in the wrong, I can understand them too. Giving each other the listening hear is critical. Understanding the point of view of my partner in any issue also helps a lot. I do not want the relationship to be only focused on me but us. It is now about who wins the fight but how we become happy together. A family will only progress the relationship emotionally if everyone is satisfied in the relationship.
According to Dr. Harley, action therapy is a more effective method of resolving marital issues than insight therapy.
I believe in the same conflict resolution line where it is not just stating the issues but acknowledging and taking action towards rectifying the source of the problem. Adopting such a strategy has helped me keep my marriage out of counseling sessions and increased the joy of love and companionship. Counseling can offer specific solutions to marriage, but it is up to the couple to decide to act upon them. Agreeing to listen to my partner and focusing on changing what leads to the conflict helps me solve all the issues. Knowing what keeps the family together and what matters to my spouse is what gives me empowerment. Therefore, I believe my conflict skills give me an edge over my weakness to keep my family together even during a crisis period.